I just don't know what to do anymore, please help.?

well ever since like 5th grade ive had some interest in other boys, then in 8th grade i had some ual experiences with another boy, im now in the 11th grade, and trying to realize myself. All I've ever wanted to be was normal, and i always told myself when i was younger, that i would just get a girlfriend and stop thinking about those thoughts one day. Well now at this age 17, i haven't had a girlfriend and I'm having trouble even trying to be interested in girls. Im a completely normal guy, i dont have a lisp, or wear tight clothes, or walk a certain way, im not the stereotype of most gays. All my friends are straight i think i can say forsure. They all use the word "Fag" around me every minute. To them, everybody uncool is a fag, , gay, queer, every kind of slur they can use, they do. Everything negative is described as being gay. I feel compleltly out of place. My friends come up to me and talk about how hot certain girls are and all i can say is yeahhh.. and just lie about how interested i am. Nobody knows how i feel about other boys, and im honestly too scared to even attempt to tell anybody. My parents always ask, wheres your girlfriend?, why dont you have one?. and idk what to say, its always the same excuse of "ohh i havent found anybody yet". i hate that i live a lie everyday, but untill i graduate highschool, i couldnt even imagine going through that school known as a . I just dont know what to do anymore. Im depressed all the time, cause im so ******* lonely. Im worried for myself what will happen. I feel like if i ever were to tell my family, or friends, or co-workers, that i would just be harred and looked down upon. I would lose my friends because none of them would want to be known as to hang around with a fag. If my parents found out, i feel like the dissapointment would be soo great, im the last male with the family name, and my parents want me to have the normal life with a wife and kids and all that ****. Im so scared.